Saturday, October 9, 2010

Joe Biden - The Consummate Gaff-mister and Some of My Favorite “Biden-isms”

Who had the worst week in Washington? Vice President Biden ( - was an article in the 9 Oct 10, Washington Post about VP Biden's latest gaffs and reading it inspired me to select some of my favorite “Biden-isms” that demonstrate how really dumb he is. Good Old VP Joe “5 Draft Deferment” Biden is the quintessential political idiot and “Consummate Gaff-mister” with so many of them they could fill a bookshelf so selecting my favorites was not an easy task.

Every time VP Joe “5-Deferment” Biden speaks, I listen with anxious anticipation as I am confident he will commit some “world-class” gaffs to provide comic relief. Joe "5-deferment" is the reason every American should pray every evening for Obama's good health! He will go down in history as the dumbest and most inept vice president of all times; by comparison he makes Palin look smart and Dan Quayle absolutely brilliant.

In defense of the Vice President, he doesn't commit these gaffs on purpose; he just isn't bright enough to avoid them. President Obama probably selected him as a running mate in part to fill the role of designated "butt of jokes" for the late night comedians -- a role for which he has proven to be ideally suited and eminently well qualified. The Obama challenge will be "Hidin Biden" in 2012! With his history of gaffs, plagiarism, draft dodging and other dumb stunts, I can't imagine Biden every being president. Hence, replacing him with Hillary isn’t all that much of a stretch.

A quick Google search yielded this collection of amusing yet cringe-worthy "Bidenisms" made during the vice president's more recent political career. Actually, some of his best “one-liners” go back years but these should suffice to illustrate Joe “5-Deferment” is NOT ready for Prime Time:

-- On 12 Mar 12 - As an update to show old Joe has not lost his touch for the absurd, on 12 Mar 2012 he spoke at a fundraiser at the Georgetown home of Sen. John Kerry (D-MA) and his Billionaire wife where he criticized Republicans by saying: “These guys don’t have a sense of the average folks out there. They don’t know what it means to be middle class.” Of course Joe was addressing a crowd of Obama supporters that paid a minimum of $10,000 per couple to dine on grass-fed New York strip steak and white truffle mashed potatoes. The closest any of this crowd ever got to talking to anyone in the middle class was at their country club when they asked their caddy to hand them a putter!

-- On 23 Mar 10, the VP got caught on an open mike dropping the “F-Bomb.” After introducing President Obama to a group of whooping Democratic lawmakers at the health care bill signing, Biden could be heard telling his boss, "This is a big F**king deal!"

-- On 13 March 09 he also did it, Biden addressed a former Senate colleague by saying, "An hour late, oh give me a F**king break," after he arrived on Amtrak at Union Station in Washington, D.C. The vice president's expletive was caught on a live microphone.

-- On NBC's "Today" show on 30 Apr 09 during the Swine Flu scare, Biden said he's advising his own family to avoid "confined places" -- to stay off commercial airlines and even subways -- because of the new swine flu. He said if one person sneezes on a confined aircraft, "it goes all the way through the aircraft." Asked whether the government should close the border with Mexico to try to slow the spread of the flu, Biden said health authorities advise that would be impractical because the swine flu has already spread to the U.S. and several other nations. Instead, he says people should focus on confined places where the flu could spread quickly, such as airplanes, malls and classrooms.

-- During a 25 Feb 09, interview on CBS' "Early Show," Biden encouraged viewers to visit a government-run Web site that tracks stimulus spending. When asked for the site's web address, Biden could not remember the site's "number." "You know, I'm embarrassed. Do you know the Web site number?" he asked an aide standing out of view. "I should have it in front of me and I don't. I'm actually embarrassed." (I’m astounded to hear Joe “5-Deferment” could get embarrassed”)

-- At a 30 Jan 09, swearing-in ceremony of senior White House staff, Biden mocked Chief Justice John Roberts for his presidential oath blunder on Inauguration Day. "Am I doing this again?" Biden said, after Obama asked him to administer the oath. When Biden was told the swearing-in was for senior staff -- and not cabinet members -- the vice president quipped, "My memory is not as good as Justice Roberts," prompting a stern nudge from Obama. He then proceeded to stumble over the oath himself.

-- On Inauguration Day, 20 Jan 09, Biden told a cheering crowd of supporters, "Jill and I had the great honor of standing on that stage, looking across at one of the great justices, Justice Stewart." Justice John Paul Stevens -- not Stewart -- swore Biden in as vice president. I’m sure to Joe “5-Deferment,” in Black robes they all look the same.

-- When criticizing former GOP nominee John McCain in Athens, Ohio, on 15 Oct 2008, Biden said, "Look, John's last-minute economic plan does nothing to tackle the number-one job facing the middle class, and it happens to be, as Barack says, a three-letter word: jobs. J-O-B-S, jobs."

-- In a 22 Sep 08, On CBS News during an interview with Katie Couric, Senator Biden said "Part of what being a leader does is to instill confidence is to demonstrate what he or she knows what they are talking about and to communicating to people .... When the stock market crashed, Franklin Roosevelt got on the television and didn't just talk about the princes of greed. He said, 'look, here's what happened.'" Two problems with Biden’s “history,” when the market crashed in 1929 Herbert Hoover -- not Roosevelt -- was president. Roosevelt wasn’t president until 20 April 1933 and Television hadn’t been invented yet…. Other than that Biden got it right.

-- During a 12 Sep 08, speech in Columbia, Mo., Biden called for Missouri State Sen. Chuck Graham, who is wheelchair-bound, to "stand up." "Oh, God love ya," Biden said, after realizing his mistake. "What am I talking about?"

-- At a 10 Sep 08, town hall meeting in Nashua, N.H., Biden said, "Hillary Clinton is as qualified or more qualified than I am to be vice president of the United States of America. Quite frankly, it might have been a better pick than me." (This one might yet come true)

-- Biden mistakenly referred to Alaska governor Sarah Palin as the "lieutenant governor" of her state during a town hall meeting on 4 Sep 08 at George Mason University in Manassas, Va. "I heard a very, by the way I mean this sincerely, a very strong and a very good political speech from a lieutenant governor of Alaska who I think is going to be very formidable, very formidable not only in the campaign but in the debate," Biden said.

-- Biden said he was running for president -- not vice president -- during a 1 Sep 08, roundtable discussion in Scranton, Pa. "Today is the moment for me as a United States senator running for president to put aside the national politics and focus on what's happening down there," Biden said.

-- Biden referred to John McCain as "George" during his vice presidential acceptance speech on 27 Aug 08, at the Democratic National Convention in Denver, Co. "Freudian slip, folks, Freudian slip," he explained.

-- Also during this VP Nomination acceptance speech, Senator Biden made a major gaff in the eyes of most of us with even a rudimentary knowledge of the Military, he demonstrated he didn't know the difference between a battalion and a brigade when speaking about Obama's plan for sending troops to Afghanistan. I don't really blame Senator Biden for his Military ignorance because, although a year younger and more draft eligible than even Dick Cheney, he managed to dodge the draft and avoid Vietnam so shouldn't be expected to know anything about the military. Who should be blamed is the legion of handler around him that vetted his speech and should have caught the gaff! This is so basic to anyone with even a passing knowledge of the Military that this would indicate none of Biden's advisors are veterans. I realize being in the company of brave vets is difficult for those who avoided service but if one aspires to be the Vice President of the United States, he should put aside petty pride and surround himself with at least one Vet to avoid gaffs like this one.

-- During his first campaign rally with Obama as his vice presidential running mate on 23 Aug 08, Biden introduced Obama by saying, "A man I'm proud to call my friend. A man who will be the next President of the United States -- Barack America!"

-- During the VP Debate Biden said that "all the powers and responsibilities of the executive branch are laid out in Article I of the Constitution.” – Well Sorry Joe, , they're not. Article I of the Constitution is the one on the legislative branch. Joe's been chairman of the Judiciary Committee, a member of the Judiciary Committee in the Senate for 36 years, teaches constitutional law back in Delaware, and can't keep straight which article of the Constitution provides for the legislature and which provides for the executive. Maybe Joe “5 deferment” should be taking instead of teaching Constitutional Law?

-- On 31 Jan 07 -- the day Biden announced his presidential bid -- the Delaware Senator was roundly criticized for calling Obama "the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy. I mean, that's a storybook, man."

Although President Obama may have originally selected him as a running mate to fill that “all important” role of designated "butt of jokes" for the late night comedians – his shtick is beginning to wear a little thin which is why replacing him with Hillary for the 2012 ticket isn’t all that much of a stretch.

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